Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Laying it all Down
New Mexico morning -- today, Tuesday Aug 26, 7:00 a.m.
I woke up this morning an hour later than I wanted to, no idea what happened to the alarm. Probably not a bad thing since I didn't go to sleep until 2:00 a.m....though not for lack of trying. The knowledge of unemployment is one thing -- my head, heart and body implementing that is apparently another thing entirely. After 6 months of functioning on 4-5 hours of sleep, I don't even know how to go to sleep. Truth is, I don't know what to do with myself in general, with all these hours of time.
There are no phone calls to make to check on this or that thing or person. No emails to send in response to the latest round of cyber communication, no work email to read, even. I'm at loose ends, and it feels really odd. It's not like there isn't anything to think about -- a 35-weeks-pregnant wife and all that means is a great deal to think about. I guess it's just that there's been so much more than that for the past several months. Like, 300 other people. An entire community to hold in one way or another. And now, all of sudden, it's not mine to hold.
I'm driving into another life, and need to lay this other one down. Looks like that isn't going to be as simple as I thought.