Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Details

I have one of those jobs that requires multi-tasking pretty much 99% of the time. The details are often endless: scheduling programs and teachers and helpers and childcare workers; answering emails and phone calls from concerned, disgruntled, worried parents; visiting with those who are lonely and can't get out much anymore; writing liturgy, worship bulletins, sermons, articles for newsletter; communicating on a weekly basis with the various constituencies to make sure folks are 'in the loop'; staff meetings about space, parking challenges due to our proximity to the local elementary school, pastoral name a few. Those are the predictable details, many others happen that need attention as well.

I get bogged down by it all, and have trouble discovering God's presence sometimes when I'm in the midst of it all and forget to breathe. Which means, lately, that I've been having trouble sleeping and am emotionally unavailable, as they say, too often to be the wife I'd like to be and that Shannon deserves.

Some of it is about this particular job not being a good fit for me - parts of it are extraordinary and life-giving and worth every bit of hard work and angst they bring, but there are large pieces that simply do not fit with what I can give. A larger issue, though, is about me and details. I need to remember that although I allow the devil to be in the details far more than necessary, that God is there too: even in the parts that are hard, annoying, un-enjoyable.

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